Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday and happy holidays. What's fabulous about today is family.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is 11!

To baby or not to baby?

I caught up with some friends yesterday and the conversation came around to having another baby or not. The three of us shared our thoughts and it was reassuring I'm not the only one who's leaning towards not.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is babyhood.

Hello Mummy

Yesterday morning I walked into the lounge room where Sticky was playing on the ground. She looked up at me and said "Hello Mummy." #Heart Melted

Defiant baby

I look at Sticky sometimes and I wish that she was older, especially now that disciplining her has become our new challenge. It sounds selfish but I'd love to not have to experience biting, pinching and telling her no. But, the only way to get to her being older is to go through each and every day!

Fabulous Friday

Happy fabulous Friday all! What’s fabulous about today is perspective. 

Sticky meets Santa

I decided to beat the Christmas rush and take Sticky to meet Santa today. I was worried she might freak t but of course she was her smiley self!

Dora the explorer

I've started calling Sticky Dora because she just wants to go and explore every nook and cranny we have. So much so she explored herself right off the bed and onto the floor over the weekend. It was my worst fear come true.

Projectile vomit, standing and fleas

Yes, I know. Never, in a million years, would I have expected to create a post with that heading, but, that's what my last few days have entailed. Needless to say there have been many sighs...

My little explorer

Apologies for not blogging so long. Between preparing to go away, going away, and settling back in, it's been a crazy 2 weeks. So, I'm back!

Baby gate barneys

So for the past week, we've been trying to install baby gates. Who knew that would be the hardest and most stressful thing I'd face this week!

Farewell my baby

I'm currently watching Sticky as she chats to herself in the mirror. She's sitting, waving, chatting and crawling. I've realised my baby is gone.She isn't quite a toddler yet but some level in between. Either way, I'm a little sad to say farewell to my baby.

Adventure of a crawling baby

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. Life has been crazy busy this week as I prepare for my first wedding expo! Funnily enough, having Sticky now crawling has added to the energy I need to spend on watching her!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is crawling!

Surviving a sick baby

We are coming towards the end of our first real experience with a sick baby and it can't come fast enough!

Mummy brain snap

I just made one of the worse Mummy brain snaps and forget to stir and test Sticky's lunch after I microwaved it. Of course, I burnt her mouth. I have no idea why I would do that, given I am so diligent about it 99.9 percent of the time. Clearly, there are no words for how much I hate myself right now.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is dreams coming true!

Bye bye baby

For the first time ever, I couldn't wait to drop Sticky off at child care today. After a few days of button pushing, I think I was more excited than she was!

Not enough time in the day

More, than ever before, I am at the stage where I'm suffering a severe lack of time. Not only are there not enough hours in the day, but there aren't enough days in my week!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is language!

How much time heals wounds?

Today marks the second anniversary of loosing Peanut. In some ways, it hurts more this year than last. So I find myself asking, if time heals all wounds, how much is time?

The true meaning of space

This is Sticky's play area in our lounge room. It's about 1.5m x 1.5m. My perceived lack of space stresses me enormously but today I realised something very important about space.

We use to have a coffee table where Sticky's mat now lies. We used it for drinks, the tv remotes and to store all the bits we had no home for. It was useful but occasionally I would bump into it. Now, the space is full of bouncers, rockers, plastic keys, measuring cups, egg rings and rattles. There's been plenty of times I've stood on those things too.

We fill our space up with what we think we need. The more things we think we need, the less space we have. So today I suddenly realised, would I rather have a home for the tv remote in my little space, or a play area for my baby? The answer was obvious.

Instead of feeling stressed about my lack of space, I can feel grateful for the things that fill it up. Instead of being annoyed there is so free space, I can feel happy that there is no free space. I can be thankful that I have a small area where I can sit on a comfy couch and do some work as I watch her play, or, I can easily sit on the floor when I play with her. 

As she looks at me right now, sucking on a piece of ribbon attached to her activity block, and giving me a cheeky grin, I can't imagine that coffee table sitting there. It never grinned at me or smiled at me. It never raised it's arms to be picked up. It was never going to be anything else but a coffee table. But now, this tiny little space might be the first place my daughter crawls or walks. Or, it might be the place where she says something really important for the first time. It could be the spot so many amazing things happen so how could I not love it!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is sleep!

Baby watching

Sticky is growing and developing at an alarming rate. It's become so much a case of blink and you'll miss it, that my husband is too afraid to go to work!

The return of the sleeping baby

Finally, after a very long 5 weeks, my sleeping baby has returned. Mind you, it's only been 3 nights so I won't get too excited yet, but things look hopeful!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is Mr Mooey!

Counting my blessings

I just found out that good friends of ours lost their baby at 25 weeks. The news is beyond devastating and makes all of my perceived struggles seem trivial.

Run away Mum

After another batch of illness, a constantly aching arm and spending all of my time helping everyone else, I've reached the point where I could very easily run away.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is Sticky is 8 months old!

Food Glorious Food - Phase 4

Given Sticky is 2 days away from hitting 8 months, it's time to move into the next phase of feeding - finger foods and snacks!

Little Miss Chatterbox

All of a sudden Sticky has decided she has a lot to say. She went from the strong, silent type to being my daughter and never being quiet!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is having a healthy baby!

Officially a Mum

Last night in her sleep, Sticky said "Mum". It's official - her first word and I'm it!

First Father's Day

Yesterday was my husband's first father's day. Four years ago, he wasn't even sure he wanted to be a Father so how quickly things can change!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is Mummy steps. 

The challenges of being a Mumpreneur

Yesterday I got my first glimpse into what it's going to be like as a Mumpreneur. Needless to say, I needed a few glasses of wine by the end of it!

Baby talk

Sticky is so tantalisingly close to saying her first word. We've had sounds that sound like words but nothing concrete enough for me to jump up and down and scream that was it!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is achievements!

Savouring the little things

The more I experience Motherhood, the more I realise to not sweat the small stuff. In fact, it's the small stuff that brings you the most pleasure and will pass you by if you don't pay attention to it!

Crisis of confidence

With my celebration registration in hand, I've tried to bound forward in getting my business up and running. I've faced IT frustrations, insurance questions and photo nightmares, but by far the greatest hurdle is my self belief.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is achievement!

Unapologetic parenting

Earlier this week, a friend and I were agreeing how difficult it is to go out with our squealing babies at the moment. They don't scream, but squeal so loudly you eat quickly trying to get out as soon as you can. This article a friend posted on her blog has made me rethink my approach. 

7 months

Sticky is 7 months old today. There are many things I could say about her, her milestones and all of her achievements to date. However, what I posted on Facebook this morning pretty much sums it all up:

7 months today and already my greatest teacher, clearest perspective, strongest motivation and truest love. 

Food glorious food - Phase 3

Given Sticky is 7 months old tomorrow, we've moved onto the next phase of eating - new food and 3 meals a day!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is bravery!

Return of the squealing baby

A few months ago, you may recall me lamenting that Sticky had found her voice. Now, she's found it all over again!

Raise our babies right

A few weeks ago, I was watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy. One of the characters said, "This is the way the world changes - by good people raising their babies right." It's stuck with me ever since!

Knowing when to let go

My husband and I have been talking about when to move Sticky into her own room. I'm hesitant to do it because she still seems so little. But she'll soon be 7 months and heading off to child care. Does that make her small or does that make me want to hold onto her as long as I can?

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is happy babies!

Miss Financially Independent

I set up a bank account for Sticky today. One of the greatest lessons I've learnt as a woman is how to be financially independent and it's one I'm determined to teach her!

The arrival of the clingy baby

When I was pregnant, people told me to get a baby carrier for when the baby would become  really clingy at 6 weeks old. Sticky never did that but she's making up for it now!

Not the perfect mother

I've come to the realization I'm not the perfect Mother. And, I hate to burst your bubble but you're not either. So why do we fill ourselves with so much anxiety trying to achieve something that doesn't exist?

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is friendship!

Wonder Week #5 Part 2

As with the start of Wonder Week 5  the second part sprung up on me but it's making it's presence felt!

Food glorious food

We are now into phase 2 of introducing solids. Sticky has finally decided she likes food!

Hardening up

We had Sticky's 6 month check up today including needles. Given it's my 4th time around, I'm clearly hardening up to the jabs!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is teeth!

The healing power of babies

I took Sticky back to swimming today at our local pool. As the only baby there, I could never have imagined the impact she would have!

Facing the inevitable

Last week, I received an email from my manager at work asking when I would be coming back. Given we're nearly into August, it's fast approaching and I need to start preparing myself for my inevitable return!

Appreciating the little things

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, so today, I am on a little bit of a post-holiday come down. But, it was the best weekend I've had since my honeymoon!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is holidays!

Baby feeding school

Sticky and I went to baby feeding school today - a workshop on the process of introducing babies to solids. Let's just say the childhood obesity epidemic isn't going away anytime soon!

Beware of little fingers

Over the weekend, Sticky took a big leap with her sensory development. She now wants to grab everything and her new favourite is noses! My husband and I are now sporting little scratches thanks to pinching baby fingers!

Fabulous Friday

They say a picture tells a thousand words and today, I'm glad for that saying.  This is a picture of Sticky holding one of Peanut's flowers.  It's the first flower she's ever held. 

I don't have the words to explain why this is fabulous but it filled my heart with enormous happiness and love to see her little fingers gripping it. I guess, sometimes in life, there are just no words to convey what's in our hearts!

Return of the sleeping baby

FINALLY, after 2 long weeks, my sleeping baby has returned to me! Oh, how I have missed her!

Lessons we teach our daughters

I saw an interesting discussion on tv yesterday about how we teach our children about body image from the moment they pop out. It turns out that us parents have to take a large part of the responsibility for teaching our daughters to hate their bodies.

Family time

As Wonder Week #5 continues, and we contend with ongoing disrupted sleep, I decided it was time for some family time and Sticky's first picnic!

The challenges of a sick baby

For the first time in a long time, I've been reminded of the challenges of Motherhood. For the    past 3 days, Sticky has suffered a cold, teething and a Wonder Week all at once. Welcome to Motherhood!

Wonder Week #5

Changes are afoot in our house as Sticky reaches new milestones. My little baby is becoming more of a little lady with each passing day!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is singing!

Catching up on life

This is one of those crazy weeks where I have to catch up on life after taking last week "off". Welcome back to the ordinary Fiona!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is celebrations!

Guilty before proven innocent

Apparently I'm suffering Mother's guilt because I've left my daughter for the week. Oh, how shocked people were to learn I am not suffering from that affliction.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is new directions!

Sticky finds her voice

On Sunday, Sticky learnt a brand new trick - squealing. It's now her favourite game. Funnily enough, it's my least favourite!

Swimming sagas

Sticky had her first swimming lesson today. She spent it looking at all the other babies and I spent it looking at all the other the Mums. I'm pretty sure she wasn't thinking the same thing I was!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is coping skills.

Sleeping skills

The alarm went off at 6:30am this morning and as I leant over to turn it off, something didn't seem right. I suddenly bolted up in bed with a shock - Sticky had slept through the night!

Pint-size Picasso

Sticky did her first painting today. It seems I have quite the little artist on my hands!

A lesson in unconditional parenting

I saw an amazing video this morning that reminded me of the value of unconditional parenting. Whether you're a new parent, or an old one, you need to see this!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is friendship!

Wonder Week #4 - Part 2

I suddenly remembered that Wonder Week 4 has two parts to it. The first hits around 14 weeks and the second around 19. We are officially in Part 2!

The power of little fingers

All of a sudden, Sticky has opened her little fists and is now grabbing everything. While I'm very glad to see this development, I'm not so happy to be the victim of it!

The dreaded question

Over the past few weeks, the most common question I've been asked is "Will you have another baby?" Just the thought of it sends me into an anxiety meltdown, 

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is persistence!

Teething torture

It seems Sticky has officially started teething. There isn't a tooth insight yet, but something tells me I'm going to need all my mummy strength to get through this!

A brave bubba

Sticky had her second round of vaccinations today.  Her ignorance was bliss. I wish I had some too!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all. What's fabulous about today is remembering!

The beauty of a baby's cry

I'm lucky - Sticky doesn't really cry too often. It seems to be only if she's got gas, is over tiered or doesn't want to go to sleep. The fact is, I don't mind if she cries because it means she knows I'm here for her.

A new direction

Now I've had 7 months sitting at home, it's time to take a new direction in my life. My brain has been in overdrive for a while now thinking of what I can so with myself while at home. I finally stumbled on an answer - I'm going to become a celebrant!

Mother's Day

Yesterday was my first Mother's Day. It was an emotional day because it wasn't that long ago I wasn't sure I would ever experience it.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is baby talk!

Apology to my childless friends

I came across this apology to friends clip on You Tube today. It was quite timely given I've had 2 reminders in the past few days of how different my life now is with childless friends!

Sticky turns one

Today is a major milestone - Sticky has been in this world for one year today! No, it's not her birthday, it's her conception day. She was conceived one year ago today and that's something worth celebrating!

The month I fell pregnant I had given up hope. I was so caught up in trying to figure out our next move  I didn't have time to think I was pregnant. I remember the weekend it happened. I had gone in for my blood test and told I was ovulating. I knew we had to have sex so we managed it on the Saturday night but the Sunday was a write off after we had to rush the cat off to the vet at 9pm. I felt the window was closed but figured no harm trying on the Monday. And hey presto!

One year later, and this is what I have!

A beautiful, alert, smiley little bundle! I'm still amazed when I look at her to think one microscopic sperm and egg created her. From the moment they met, the colour of her eyes and hair, her personality, her mannerisms and so many other things were determined. 

In that year, she has grown from a tiny dot to this little monkey! And she will grow even more in the next year. I was reminded of how quickly time has already gone when I saw a friend's baby yesterday who's just a week old. She was born 3 weeks premise and weighed more than Sticky did when she was born! I couldn't believe Sticky was once that small but I know she was. 

At 15 weeks time has flown by and I hazard a guess time will fly even faster as she becomes more demanding of my time and energy, which I'm more than happy to give. I feel like I have to stare at her - too afraid to blink in case I miss anything. For me, there is simply nothing more important in my life than truly engaging with her. There is no tv show, Facebook update, website or phone call that beats her. I've wasted enough of my life engaging in those meaningless things so they now take a backseat to what matters most. Funnily enough, it's not a hard a choice to make!

Wonder Week #4

My Wonder Week book says each Wonder Week gets more intense than the last and they are spot on. Sticky is in the middle of one and it's been brutal.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is moments of pure joy!

Loving what is

Sticky was 14 weeks on Sunday - the time goes so quickly! I looked down at her at one stage over the weekend and marvelled at how big she was and how much she had changed. But my marvelling bought sadness as the more I see her grow, the more I miss Babs.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is smiles!

Wonder Week #3

Somewhere in the craziness of the past 10 days Sticky had her 3rd Wonder Week. I didn't notice it as much as the previous 2 but I can certainly see the results!

Remembering to breathe

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted. Sadly, my Grandmother passed away last Thursday so life has been hectic to say the least. This is the first time I've had a chance to sit and breathe in silence since then.

Rolling with the punches

I got a call from work yesterday afternoon asking me to come to a meeting on Wednesday. You know it's never good news when work calls you while you're on leave and it wasn't.

Baby workout

Sticky was 12 weeks old yesterday and has definitely made the transition from newborn to baby. So, I decided it was time to get us into a proper routine and start focusing on developing her skills. Baby workout has begun!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Friday all! What's fabulous about today is motherhood!

Baby talk

When I was learning Italian, everyone told me that one day it would just click, and it did. Funnily enough, learning baby talk has been the same. This week, it's just clicked!

Weaning woes

So here's a little tidbit of info for you - weaning downright sucks. While breastfeeding has been hard, weaning is downright brutal and I can't wait for it to be over.

Bumping baby

While we seemed to have settled back in at home after our week away, Sticky has had some problems readjusting to her cot. She's taken to bumping into it and getting stuck. She ends up in pain and I wake to a screaming baby. Something had to be done.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday. I hope you've all had a great week. Ours has been very busy and draining so what's fabulous about today is being home!

Weaning begins

The events of the past few days have meant I haven't been able to breastfeed Sticky during the day. Rather than fighting it, I've taken it as a sign. With a growing baby who's becoming more ferociously hungry daily it's time to accept I just can't provide her what she needs anymore.

10 weeks

Sticky turned 10 weeks old yesterday. She seemed pretty happy with her achievement!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday. What's fabulous about today is reassurance.

Baby nightmares

As a parent, you do anything you can to protect your children. But, what happens when they enter a place you can't protect them?

A test of strength

Last night was one of those times where everything happens at once. In my previous life, I would have sat down and drank a bottle of wine after it all passed. Now, there is no choice but to man up and carry on.

A giggly girl

Yesterday, Sticky giggled for the first time. It was one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! What's fabulous about today is having good sense, resilience and fortitude!

Sleeping success

It's been a long and difficult journey but we have finally gained some sleeping success. Sticky has put herself to sleep the last 3 nights so I guess it shows that persistence pays off!

A rebel with a cause

In a rebellious, post-pregnancy move, I have locked my bathroom scales away. I have decided to invest my limited emotional energy in more meaningful things - like my daughter.

It's sad when I think those scales have played such an important role in my life for nearly 30 years now. Why is it that we base our happiness on an arbitrary number? We believe that we aren't good enough, happy enough, loveable enough,worthy enough unless we weigh x kilos. When we decide that we need to weigh x to be happy, we set ourselves up to fail because our weight is always a fluctuating thing so it means our happiness is too.

When I think of the thousands of times I've stood on scales, I shudder with what I put myself through. The stressful moment before I stepped on, dreading what I would see. The bargaining of so long as it's within this range it's ok. The emotional slump when I didn't see what I wanted to see. I put myself through that thousands of times, for the handful of times I got to experience the elation of being happy with what I had seen. I did this for 30 years!

As a new Mum, society tells me I should now be throwing myself into loosing my pregnancy weight. It should be the focus of my life, the only meaningful thing in my life and the be all and end all for me to feel like I'm happy as a Mum.

I admit, I succumbed to the pressure. I weighed myself once a week and constantly scrutinised myself in the mirror, trying to determine if my stomach was shrinking. People's compliments to me about how great I looked fell on deaf ears because I didn't weigh what I wanted to or look the way I wanted to. I am drawing a line in the sand and saying no more.

If I want to teach my daughter to love herself unconditionally, I need to live by example. I don't want her to become obsessed with her weight, worrying about whether she's fat, or letting her happiness be determined by the scales. I want her to develop a healthy relationship with food, exercise and herself.

I know how to eat sensibly. I know moderation is the key. I choose to eat chocolate or muffins or have a glass of wine without feeling guilty. I choose to enjoy these things as part of a balanced diet. I choose to go walking and enjoy spending that time with my daughter, marvelling at her experiencing, seeing and hearing things for the first time. 

I accept that right now, part of my wardrobe doesn't fit. I accept there may be some items of my wardrobe that may never fit me again. I accept I now have a dent in my stomach following the operation that will probably always be there. When Sticky asks me about it, I will tell her that's my tummy smiling because she was in there. I accept that if that's the price I pay for having my daughter, I'll gladly pay it. 

So farewell to you scales. I know I am the only one responsible for letting you have such an impact on my life, but it means I can exit you from my life too. Like any bad relationship, you have to walk away when you realise it's not healthy for you to stay and it's time for me to leave. I take back the power I let you steal from me and will ensure you don't suck my daughter into your powerful tractor beam. I have given you 30 years of my happiness and you will have no more!

I can't tell you how freeing it is to put those scales away. I really feel like I am taking a part of my life back, realising I am responsible for my happiness, not that digital display. I encourage all of you to be brave enough to do the same. You are beautiful, wonderful, loveable and worthy just as you are!

Now, my daughter and I are off to have a coffee. I will sit and have a chat with her, and enjoy and savour every morsel of muffin I put in my mouth. What a fabulous way to spend a Monday morning!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday. What's fabulous about today is gratitude and everything I have to be so thankful for.

Showered with love

I came home yesterday to find 3 packages waiting for me. I was overwhelmed by the collection of goodies that had been sent for Sticky.

Welcome to Wonder Week #2

Somewhere between 5am and 7pm on Saturday, Sticky leapt head first into her second Wonder Week. And boy did she do it in style - acting like a new born baby for the very first time!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all. This has been a big week with all the 6 week milestones and starting Mother's group, but we've had lots of reaffirming outcomes that tell us we're doing great which has been the best outcome of all!

Post shot blues

Both Sticky and I are suffering the post-shot blues, feeling a little sad and sorry for ourselves. My arm is hurting from my shot so I can only imagine what pain she must be in. 

Jabs, tears and wine

Sticky was 6 weeks old yesterday so it was time for her first vaccination shots. I wasn't looking forward to it and expected us to both be in tears. I shouldn't have underestimated us.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday! Today marks the end of the first week Sticky and I have been by ourselves. Today is only half way through but I feel confident enough to say we kicked it!

Flying solo

This is Sticky's and mine first week together. My husband has gone back to work and now it's just us girls. I hate to say it but 3 days in I'm bored out of my brains desperately willing Sticky to grow quickly so she can entertain me!

The brutal reality of Motherhood

In all the times I visioned myself as a Mother, not once did I see myself sitting in a gutter trying to breastfeed a hysterical baby on a busy street. Mind you, I also never saw myself freaking out that my baby had suffocated or dropping them in the bath but reality is different to fantasy.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! I hope you've all had a great week. I don't know about you but this week has flown by. Mind you, that seems to happen every week now. But, what's fabulous about this week was butterfly kisses!

Wonder Week #1 and wine

I have a sneaky suspicion Sticky has entered her first Wonder Week. She seems to be growing before my eyes and has become quite grizzly and unsettled. This is the first of many Wonder Weeks we are going to experience over the next two years. However, I was saved by my first leave pass today so made the most of it by catching up with a good friend and indulging in a glass of wine!

For those who have never heard of the term Wonder Weeks, it's basically a predictable time when babies go through mental changes. You can find more information about it here. Basically, it outlines the changes babies will go through each Wonder week. As each change occurs, the length of time increases and the effect does too. It seems Sticky has hit her first week.

She is showing all the classic signs including an increase in metabolism, wanting to feed more often, grizzling for no real reason, being much more alert hearing and responding more, and just wanting to be held. She is also showing tears for the first time. I didn't know newborns didn't cry tears from day one so seeing them for the first time has created an emotional response from me. Hearing her cry out quite hysterically at times was bad enough, however, when I go to pick her up and see her eyes glistening it breaks my heart even more.

It's going to be a tough week so I wasn't sure if I should take my leave pass today. My husband told me to do it before he goes back to work. I didn't feel totally comfortable with it but knew I had to take some time for myself. I had lunch with a friend and treated myself to a glass of wine. I had a lovely few hours out and Sticky didn't know any different. I had made sure I had some expressed milk for my husband to give her and he was feeding her when I got home. I felt relieved to know it had gone ok. Sadly, the rest of the afternoon didn't.

She started screaming so much on our walk this afternoon I had to take her out of the pram and hold her. Holding her and pushing the pram at the same time was too difficult so I had to call my husband to come and help me. She fell asleep in his arms and we went to put her to bed when we got home. She woke up and couldn't resettle so we bathed and fed her and started again. We got home from the walk at 6pm and finally got her settled and asleep at 8:30. It's definitely going to be a tough week!

I'm so glad my husband is home with me this week to help me through this. I know the first one will be the hardest to deal with as the first one. Mind you the others will be longer and harder but hopefully we'll become better at handling it. So far we're doing pretty well but I must admit, the wine helped! I just have to make sure I don't handle it by having a wine everyday. I think I'll substitute it for chocolate instead! 

Time slipping away

Sticky was four weeks old yesterday. I can't believe how quickly that time has gone. In a blink of an eye she will be six years old, heading off to school. I must remind myself to make the most of every moment I have because the sand is most definitely slipping through the hourglass.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday and Happy Valentines Day to you all. What's fabulous about today is of course love - having love, being in love and the amazing things we do for love!

Rookie Mummy mistake

There's an old saying - "When the student is ready the teacher will appear." Well, it turns out I am the student and my daughter is the teacher. Today, she taught me to be prepared, never assume she will be predictable and not to be over confident. These lessons were the result of some rookie mistakes!

Devoted Daddy

I knew having a baby would change my relationship with my husband. I expected the exhaustion and stress to strain our relationship but instead it's strengthened it. I shouldn't have underestimated the power of the Devoted Daddy.

Surviving cluster feeding

I'd never heard of cluster feeding until I was in hospital. There was one evening when Sticky wouldn't stop screaming and one of the midwives said she was cluster feeding. Basically it means babies feed and feed regularly and it's hell!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday to you. I cannot believe we are at Friday again already. It seems my life has entered warp speed since becoming a mother. Time is flashing before me which is also a good thing. It's actually a fabulous thing because come Sunday, I've been doing this mother gig for 3 weeks and I'm finally starting to feel confident in what I'm doing.

Plight of the sleepy baby

I would never dare complain about having a sleepy baby for fear of the slap down I'd get from all the parents who don't have a sleepy bay. But, I feel I must share the plight of the sleepy baby in the hope their unique needs and challenges can be understood.

First off, let me be clear that I am not complaining about having a sleepy baby - I know how lucky I am and I am grateful. However, it does pose its own challenges that need to be overcome. I'm not sure why Sticky is a sleepy baby. Perhaps it's the jaundice she was born with, or the fact she's so small (born 5 pound 14) or it could just be she's like her Mum and likes her sleep. Or, it could be a combination of all these things. 

I find the greatest challenge with a sleep baby is keeping her awake to feed. Each feed takes approximately one hour so in a 24 hour period, I am feeding 6 to 7 hours a day. Add onto that another hour for expressing milk and my breasts see quite a lot of daylight. The reason each feed  is so long is because I have to keep waking her up through the process. I need to switch between each breast several times and regularly burp her in an effort to wake her up. Even after an hour, she will often still be hungry and I will need to give her formula as a top up. If I didn't, I would probably find myself sitting in my feeding chair all day long.

I've had several comments from other mothers who are shocked to hear I feed for an hour. I'm not sure if they take pleasure in telling me that they only feed for 10 minutes or not, but it seems pretty unhelpful when they do. They might be lucky to have babies that are vigorous feeders, not the sleepy baby that needs more attention.

As a new parent, you can be bombarded by the amount of information and so called experts and sources that tell you demand feeding is the way to go. Demand feeding is basically letting the baby tell you when they are hungry and then feeding them at that time. The problem with a sleepy baby is they don't wake up to tell you they are hungry so you have to wake them up to feed them. There is ongoing debate about how often you should feed the baby whether that is every two or three hours or somewhere in between. I've tried waking Sticky up earlier than three hours but she is so exhausted she simply refuses to feed. I found there's no point in trying to feed her when she is so exhausted so I let her sleep and stick with 3 hourly feeds during the day and 4 to 5 hourly feeds at night. 

On average, Sticky  sleeps for about 14 hours a day. On a good night, I get 6 hours sleep in 2, 3 hour stints. If she is unsettled or has an upset tummy, I'm lucky if I get 3 to 4 hours sleep. My ultimate goal, is to have her sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. I'm gradually working towards that over the next few weeks but given she's only 2.5 weeks old we have a little while to go. But the work needs to be done now to achieve that in a few weeks time.

I can't comment on what it is like to have a baby that doesn't sleep very well, but I can imagine how difficult it would be. On the nights she's awake for 5 hours straight and we can't settle her, my heart aches for her and me in dealing with those situations. I'm very lucky that doesn't happen too often.

So many people use sleep as an indication as to whether you have a good baby or not. For some reason, they decide that sleep will determine what classification your child receives - good or bad. I am under no illusions that Sticky's current sleep patterns could change at any time. While she might sleep now, I'm sure that will change when she starts hitting growth spurts, teething and the range of other things she will experience that will disrupt her sleep patterns. But, I don't let any of that cloud my opinion of her. Like me, she has days were she feels good and others where she's under par. She has nights where she sleeps peacefully and others she's unsettled. 

None of that matters to me because we are all blessed with the child we receive and each child will have their own challenges. She is a fabulous and beautiful baby whether she sleeps or not just because she is who she is and she is mine!