My 18th week is off to a bang with insomnia,
cramps and cupcakes! The cupcakes were the best part!
We had cupcake day at work to raise money for the RSPCA –
which for our international readers is the Royal Society of Protection against
Cruelty to Animals. I bought my cat from the RSPCA so I’m a big supporter of
their work. So, yesterday, I whisked up a batch of banana muffins with
passionfruit icing. They were pretty tasty, and popular because they were the
biggest! I guess they offered the best value for money.
I needed something to pick my up today as it seems the
insomnia has hit. I haven’t been able to sleep the past two nights. Last
night, despite being exhausted, it took me a long time to get to
sleep then I woke up at 2am and couldn’t get back to sleep. At 3:30am I had to
get up and have a banana because I was hungry. I think I feel back asleep about
4am and then the alarm went at 6:15am. I needed coffee big time this morning!
I know insomnia is a common part of pregnancy. I was hoping
I would last a few more weeks before it hit me. I had been sleeping so well the
past few weeks. Literally, like the sleep of the dead. I was going into such
deep sleep that I would wake up feeling refreshed and recharged, despite only getting
7 hours sleep. I fear those few weeks may be the last decent sleep I get for a
few years now!
18 weeks have also bought me cramps. I had quite a few on
the weekend and it was hard to tell if it was Sticky moving, my tummy grumbling
or cramps. In the end, I put it down to cramps because of the sharp jabs I was
getting. Again, another joyful part of pregnancy where your body reacts to the
fact that your intestines and organs are being smooshed up into your body. Poor
intestines – I think they’ve had a hiding over the last few days as evidenced
by the increase in gas and tummy pains.
So, with all of this going on, I feel like I’ve entered a
new phase of this pregnancy. The phase were things start to become
uncomfortable. I know it’s just the beginning so I’m glad it only happens
gradually.
Despite all of this, I remain in a relatively good mood because
it’s only 3 sleeps until I see the obstetrician again. I won’t lie, the past 4
weeks have been a struggle as anxiety
has reared it’s ugly head. But I’ve survived it. I made it through the
worrying times by doing some positive self talk and trying not to engage with
the negative thoughts too much. And, I made it through without resorting to a
doppler which is a major task because I nearly caved in on a few occasions.
I’m
all for using a doppler and I know a lot of women who have found them very
reassuring. I think my battle to not use one has been a personal challenge not
to respond to the anxiety. I’ve wanted to prove that I am mentally tough enough
to get through this by myself.
As I mentioned, I’m trying to focus on building
my resilience because once Sticky arrives, I won’t have a magical device to
let me know she’s ok. I need to start putting faith in myself that no matter
what happens, I’ll handle it.
Despite that bravery, I can’t wait to hear the little
thumpity thump of her heart on Thursday!
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