Miscarriage doesn't discriminate

In my early days post-miscarriage, I spent a lot of time feeling angry – why me and not “them”? “Them” really referred to anyone who happened to cross my path who had given birth to a healthy baby and who had not experienced loss. While I tried hard not to spend too much time in that head space, sometimes, you just can’t help it. Afterall, anger is one of the first stages of grief and probably the one you spend most time in.

I did find it helpful to hear other people’s stories about miscarriage and loss and felt buoyed by their stories of overcoming it, and going on to bring healthy babies into the world. While the stories my friends told me of their own experiences touched me enormously, I was also interested in the experiences of celebrities.

As we have Kate Middleton’s growing baby bump shoved in our face on a daily basis, I often wonder how these people in the media spotlight deal with such sad things? Experiencing it is one thing – having to experience it in front of the world is something else. But it just goes to show that miscarriage does not discriminate. While we put celebrities on a pedestal, and believe their privileged lives bring them all their heart’s desires, it’s simply not the case.  These are some celebrities I’ve been inspired by.

Beyonce – a few days after the birth of her baby, her husband Jay-Z released his song “Glory” in which their experience of miscarriage was revealed for the first time. His lyrics included “Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/ We was afraid you’d disappear/ But nah baby, you magic.”

Liley Allen – suffered a miscarriage and a still-born baby. She said “I think even though what happened to us is beyond devastating, it’s made me realize what I have got, which I don’t think I ever really did before.”  She then went on to give birth to a healthy baby girl!

Courtney Cox – suffered several miscarriages stating "I get pregnant pretty easily, but I have a hard time keeping them.” She went on to have a healthy baby girl at 40.

Gwyneth Paltrow – only recently announced she had suffered a miscarriage pregnant with her 3^rd child. She described it as "a really bad experience...It didn't work out and I nearly died. So I am like, ‘Are we good here, or should we go back and try again?’ Despite her very scary experience, at age 40, she hasn’t ruled out trying again.

And my absolute guru of overcoming miscarriage and battling infertility – is Nicole Kidman. She is the one who has shown us all how to overcome such tragic experiences with style and grace. After suffering 2 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy, she finally gave birth to a healthy girl at 41. She said “Not to be too detailed, but I’ve had an ectopic pregnancy, miscarriages and I’ve had fertility treatments. I’ve done all the stuff you can possibly do to try get pregnant. Every woman who has been through all those ups and downs knows the depression that comes with it. So the way it just happened with Sunday was like, ‘What?’ The percentages were so low. It is the miracle in my life."

It’s probably no surprise that many of these women I chose gave birth in their 40s. Maybe that’s what I find inspiring about them. Or, maybe it just gives me hope that I’ll be as lucky as them. It does prove that I don’t have to despair just yet that my time is running out. And it does remind me to be hopeful of receiving my own miracle. Here’s to miracles Nicole! I’m so glad after all your struggles, you finally got yours!

Image by Chris Sharp

Courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net